


every dawn gets its day, like

by hrtbnr



Category: Cow Chop
Genre: Fake Chop, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 05:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13804302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrtbnr/pseuds/hrtbnr
Summary: The apartment door opens and he can just make out the different tone beeps of the alarm being disabled and reset. Ein’s already gone to inspect but she’s not barking, just whining, her nails clicking as, James imagines, she dances excitedly around Aleksandr’s legs.It can only be Aleks. Tonight makes it four times in the last ten days Aleks has stumbled into his place in the middle of the night.





	every dawn gets its day, like

**Author's Note:**

> yall this is pretty sappy

Even the bustling streets of Los Santos are dead at three in the morning. James should be sleeping; he’s listening to Ein snore and the constant whir of a box fan in his bedroom window, nice white noisy sounds, but he just fucking can’t. It would be nearly tolerable if the job was keeping him awake, but things have been relatively peaceful for the last few weeks. Instead of doing any crime they’ve just been enjoying the fruits of previous crime. For the moment things are good, easy, and the safest they can be. 

And maybe that’s why he can’t sleep. There’s a shoe up there somewhere, right above their heads, waiting to drop. 

The longer they go without doing illegal shit the more James is sure they’ve already been caught. Just a team of police and SWAT dudes with those fucking shields sitting there in the dark outside his apartment. Like any second they’re going to break down the door and bust his head in. 

It’s paranoia, he knows, it’s not like the Fakes don’t have a quarter of the force on payroll. James would know well before any moves were made against them. But there’s still something in the air. An uneasiness, a restlessness, and it raises the hair on the back of his neck. Rattles around his head and keeps him awake.

Just as he almost succeeds in pushing the thought away, a car door slams outside his apartment and startles Ein awake. There are low, muffled voices and then the sound of the car peeling away and James reaches for his gun on the nightstand but falters when Ein jumps off the bed, her little nub of a tail and entire ass wiggling happily. She’s knows something that James doesn’t, although he can make a somewhat educated guess. 

The apartment door opens and he can just make out the different tone beeps of the alarm being disabled and reset. Ein’s already gone to inspect, but she’s not barking, just whining, her nails clicking as, James imagines, she dances excitedly around Aleksandr’s legs. 

It can only be Aleks. Tonight makes it four times in the last ten days Aleks has stumbled into his place in the middle of the night. He’ll smell like cigarettes and sweat and alcohol and leave most of his clothes on the floor as he climbs uninvited into James’ bed. Just like all the other times. And James won’t have the strength to tell him no or the courage to ask why. 

All the things he’s done, all the terrible, fucked up shit he’s done, but there’s something about Aleks looking small, half naked and almost needy, that makes James  _ weak.  _  Makes him feel like a fraud and a coward and a little bit of a bitch.  He can’t even bring himself to ask  _ why  _ this has started to happen.

Why now, anyway

In the quiet he can hear Aleks washing up in the bathroom and how he whispers to Ein sweetly to calm down and wait a minute and how she’s a good, pretty girl. He sounds  _ soft,  _ the way he never does at the warehouse, and it twists something inside James, the way it always has, how Aleks doesn’t mind him seeing it.  And when he creeps into the room, pulling off his shirt and stepping out of his jeans, he looks so vulnerable it’s almost impossible to remember he’s watched Aleks  _ beat people to death.  _

Aleks scoops up Ein and drops her on the mattress as James shifts over to make room for the both of them, and then he’s crawling up next to him under the sheet. Close enough that James can feel the outside heat on his skin. If he’s coming from a bar he doesn’t smell like it, and maybe James thinks about shifting closer to test whether Aleks would move away if they touched, but Ein worms her way between them before he can. 

What does happen though is Aleks  _ laughs  _ when Ein licks at his shoulder. It’s low and breathy and he keeps on laughing as he turns on his side, towards James, letting Ein flop back against his chest. It makes James’ heart race; it’s the first sound Aleks has made in his bedroom and it breaks something, and suddenly it’s very easy not to let the quiet back in. 

“You’re going to make her a spoiled piece of shit like Mishka.” 

Aleks hums as he rubs his nose over the top of Ein’s head. “Yeah, dude, you don’t spoil her at all.”

James doesn’t say anything. He scratches behind Ein’s ears, silently conceding to it, and Aleks laughs again. His hot breath coming in puffs against James’ knuckles. 

All he’d have to do is uncurl his fingers and he’d be touching the line of Aleks’ jaw. It’d be simple then to cup his cheek, rub his thumb carefully across his skin, still a little yellow under his lashes from his last black eye, until Aleks looks up, and then James would fucking know what the hell is going on, maybe. What Aleks is asking for besides the left side of James’ bed.  He must realize by now that whatever is it, whatever he wants, James will give it to him. Everything he has Aleks already owns. 

That’s not romantic bullshit either, James has never thought of it like that. He’s never expected anything from Aleks, never asks for anything unreasonable, and doesn’t push him in a direction Aleks doesn’t already seem headed in. He’s only ever wanted to take care of him, the same as he feels for the rest of their crew, it’s just always been more with Aleks. Sits inside him differently, feelings bigger and urgent. 

And tender. Embarrassingly tender at the most inopportune of times. After a job when James wants to inspect his wounds himself instead of letting Jakob handle it. When he’s leaned out the window, shooting the tires of persuing cop cars, and his shirt rides up just enough James gets a glimpse of the pale skin at his hip and thinks to press his thumb to it. And now, when Aleks is cuddled up to Ein, looking pretty and tired, a little smile still living at the corner of his mouth that James wants to kiss.

“Bring her next time,” he finds himself saying. Because fuck it. Honestly fuck whatever this is that’s happening and why they haven’t talked about it. Aleks sometimes makes James feel weak, but most of the time, fuck, he makes him brave _. _

“Huh?”

“Mishka,” James clarifies and turns on his side too. Ein stretches her legs to press against his chest and belly, as if to keep him away. Just as possessive as James. “You don’t like leaving her alone overnight.”

Aleks makes a strained, startled noise, and maybe starts to respond but James doesn’t allow it. His hand settles on Aleks’ bare hip under the sheets and squeezes and all the words crash against the back of his teeth and never make it out. Aleks just draws his eyebrows together.

“If something’s going on, or wrong, Aleksandr, you can tell me, you know? Whatever it is.” He moves his hand from Aleks’ hip to his lower back and softly rubs the fine patch of hair there. Aleks shifts closer before James can draw him in, and Ein huffs, her feet pressing hard into James’ torso. “Or I’m going to start thinking you’re just too chickenshit to admit you wanna get laid, dude.”

He laughs just for a bit of levity. Just to give Aleks a chance to laugh it off too. Aleks doesn’t. His eyes close and his body sags into the bed and pillows, and he sighs when James brushes his fingers up just slightly along his spine.  

‘ _ Why this?’  _ isn’t really the correct question to ask, it’s  _ ‘Why now?’ _ After years of big maybes and almosts and lingering eye contact. More close-calls then James wants to remember, bullet wounds and blood and broken bones, thinking, well, this is it, this is our last moment alive and his mouth looks so  _ inviting.  _ But never doing anything about it.  

“Fuck you, man,” Aleks says eventually, curling his fist against Ein’s chest. He doesn’t open his eyes. “Don’t be gay.”

His back is warm under James’ hand as he fans out his fingers, following the path he started until his palm presses between Aleks’ shoulder blades. A small shiver runs through him and James’ watches his eyes clench, watches him cringe and frown and fight with himself.  It’s not a mystery why Aleks pushes away from the things he wants and relationships that blossom while he’s not paying attention.  Why his instinct is to run as hard and fast as he can in a different direction.  It’s not just what they do for a living, although that’s certainly part of it.

Aleks has only ever wanted to be a part of something. But his foundations are hastily built, rickety things; empty places, long years with no one but himself.  He doesn’t trust or depend on people easily - it’s self-preservation - and James knows how scary it is for him that he’s allowed someone inside.  

He’s frequently so  _ soft  _ when they’re alone. __ He never had to say it.

James scoots closer and Ein gives out an unhappy little whine, rolling over and flailing until Aleks is laughing again, the miserable lines of his face turning into his best crinkly-eyed smile. 

“Goddamnit, Ein,” James whisper-hollers, pushing her by the top of her head and shoulder down between their knees. “I’m trying to have a fucking moment if you don’t mind.”

“Are we having a moment?” Aleks rasps around a giggle. There’s enough light in the room for his eyes to look bright _.  _  “This is a shitty fucking excuse for one.”

“Yeah, but it’s gay. I’m not really sure if you’re interested.” 

The space between them is suddenly even smaller and Aleks says, “Don’t be an asshole. You know I’ve always been interested.”

It’s the most he’s going to get Aleks to say and more than he needs to hear.  If there’s an answer to  _ ‘Why now?’  _ it might just be because it’s been long enough. Maybe Aleks finally believes that everything James has already belongs to him, not the cars or the money or any of that shit, although he could have all of that too, but the important things.  The left side of his bed. 

“So shut the fuck up,” James whispers and brings his hand to the nape of Aleks’ neck.  His hair is brown there, compared to the blond at the top of his head, and James remembers how all that dark hair used to fall across his forehead and the way Aleks would constantly push it out of his eyes.  The way James’ fingers itched to do the same. 

When they were boys.  Shorter and skinnier but just as stupid, just as reckless, just as hungry. 

They’ve never denied themselves anything; this was always a slow-growing fire, and now it’s started to burn bright enough for them to properly see each other by.  They’ve never kissed or fucked or held hands but they’ve been together in every other way since the moment Sly introduced them, a big unstoppable thing. This thing here between them in bed, his hands on Aleks’ bare skin, the way he moves until there’s no space left between them to press his cheek against James’ shoulder.

A feeling that passes between them that must be indestructible to have survived and grown despite the shit they’ve dragged it through. 

His mouth against the top of Aleks’ head, he says, “Bring Mishka. You know how much Ein loves her, right?” 

“Yeah,” Aleks huffs, pressing his smile into James’ shoulder. “It’s fucking stupid for them to be alone if they don’t have to be, I guess. Might as well be happy.”

James wheezes and pushes him away only enough to see his dumb fucking face. “That’s so fucking romantic, dude. Damn.  _ Might as well.  _ I’m here ready to -” 

“I’m talking about our dogs, James. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You’re such a dickhead. I can’t fucking stand you. You’re -”

Aleks is still laughing as he presses a rough, greedy kiss to James’ lips.  The shock of it wears off quickly and James kisses back, trying to turn the laughter into something more heated, but it doesn’t work.  He only laughs harder, curling in on himself until James has to chase his mouth to keep it going. The commotion draws Ein’s attention again and she barks playfully, pouncing into the mess of them, one of her back legs getting Aleks’ right in the dick. 

His giggling turns quickly into a pained moan and James grins. “That’s what you get, motherfucker.”

“You know,” Aleks says, slightly out of breath. Ein licking the side of his face. “All things considered… this… is kinda exactly how I imagined this going.”

“Thought about it, huh?” 

Aleks tilts his head meaningfully, calling James full of shit without having to say it, and actually says, “No.” 

Ein settles between them, pressing her cold nose to James’ arm and her back to Aleks’ chest again as he turns onto his side.  Aleks reaches to touch James’ face, hand cupping his jaw, fingers scratching gently into his beard, and James says very quietly, “Yeah, me neither. That would have been stupid.”

For a long moment Aleks just looks at him.  Tilts his face up and takes him in, loose hair and the line of his nose, the curve of his face when James smiles.  Aleks is nervous, he’s small again, somehow, because James can hurt him and they both know it. But he won’t, and Aleks knows that too, and leans forward to kiss him again.  Buries his hand in James’ hair and pulls them together as close as possible with Ein between them, kisses slow and carefully, with meaning.

Aleks falls asleep with his hand still in James’ hair, and when their combined body heat becomes too much for Ein, and she finally moves down to the foot of the bed, he rolls into the space she left behind without waking up. 

The street outside his bedroom window is dead and Aleks is breathing deeply next to him and the rattling in James’ head is gone, everything is quiet and still, for now, and it’s easy to fall asleep.

  



End file.
